The Short List

Sir Barnaby Joyce. Sir Christopher Pyne. Sir Alexander Downer III. Dame Bronwyn Bishop. Sir Nicholas Greiner. Sir Arthur Sinodinos. Sir Eric Abetz. Sir Alan Jones. Sir James Packer.
Dame Sophie Mirabella.

Oh boy..

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  1. Knights and Dames, how medieval, how ridiculous.

  2. Dame Downer, Lady Pyne & Sir Gina would be more on the money.

  3. It’s so English, isn’t it? How come we finding it so hard to get away from mum?

    • Gerard its just really embarrassing. My overseas friends laugh when I say we still pledge allegiance to the Queen. We are like toddlers on the worlds stage and I just cringe .

    • We have everyone, an english as PM and his missus is a kiwi, these people are not Australians, our PM is a politician, an ideologue and he could be in any country with the same mantra, he just happens to be in Australia and we are suffering for it. What was Keating’s description of him “the resident nutter” trouble is he is dangerous.

      • Well the point is that Aussies’ love putting themselves through it. It’s ‘Aussie’ democracy - that weirdly amuses itself by putting the ‘resident nutter’ in the driver’s seat.


        They are a weird mob all right. At the end of this particular political experiment/amusement scenario they are going to need help - some sort of national therapy - like the hula hoop. Kangaroo style. The Kiwis (BTW) are watching on with awe - this tortuous self loathing/flirting.

  4. Sir Andrew Bolt, Sir George Pell

  5. Colonial aristocracy! What about King Arthur, to give the Mother Country something to LOL about.

  6. Sir Piers Ackerman

    Dame Janet Albrechtson

    Sir Alan Jones

  7. Dame Gina Rinehert

  8. Damn Julia Gillard

  9. Abbott is a punk; fortunately his day of reckoning is looming rapidly

  10. This is a joke, right? Are any gongs from the motherland in the offing? I thought we had ditched all that!

    Mind you, ACS; I do approve the Damn Julia Gillard! Downer is a bit too quick to frock up for my liking, and what’s he done recently, anyway?

    Gina Rinehart? You’d have to ask the RSPCA about medals for cows!

  11. Disgusting.

    ” H.R.H Mary Jo Fischer”

  12. Back to the future with Menzies.
    Dame Ginny Lowndes

    • Lol, Ginny, I’ll demand to be addressed Her Highness, the honourable H,just for one hour.

      Sorry, but honestly I don’t really know what all this means, coming from a country of equals, but I think it might mean: you are with the winners :?:

  13. I reckon he will try to dismantle everything Labor has ever done, this is his direction.

  14. Mr Dick says, “All somewhat reminiscent of Daniel Deniehy and his coining of the phrase ‘Bunyip Aristocracy’ for certain aspirational colonials in his time”.

    No Lords, Dukes, Viscounts, (oops, just about left the “o” out, but spellcheck caught it.), counts (did it again!)?

  15. Bread and Circuses?

    Oh look, a plane.
    Oh look, a knighthood.

  16. Sir Les Patterson will have his nose(?) out of joint.


  17. The Queen
    Buckingham palace.

    To my dear Tony Abbott P.M. of my beloved colony in the Antipodes.

    It is with great pleasure I have approved your recommendation for former P.M. John Howard to be knighted.

    I didn’t realise he was so loved by the Australian people. Of course his brave decision to join our country and the U.S. and to go to war with Iraq and kill women and children was indeed wonderful.

    I was chuffed to bits when I heard of his decision to turn the people back into serfs with industrial laws called work choices. Philip and I thought it a master stroke, as you know we put our uppity workers in the tower. Although we can’t remove their heads as we once did.

    Anyway look forward to meeting you and John, I would appreciate if you could put some blocks of wood in John’s shoes. I have never knighted a dwarf before.

    Don’t forget pictures of the whole event will be available from my secretary for the plebes back home. They will retail for a very modest 10 pounds each.

    Yours Lizzy.

  18. Sir Robert Ellis Knight Commander

  19. Umberto Ledfooti

    Heh, Abbott’s whole junta has gotten hooked on the advance copy of Games Of Thrones lent to them by that doddering old cuckold.


  20. Lord Downer of Mayo, and

    Lord Howard of Earlwood,

    to follow.

    (excuse me whilst I puke)

  21. Sir Gerard and Dame Anne Henderson.

  22. Mark my words, this is a great day for Australia.

    This is the day the Liberals have come out & proved themselves to be the pompous premadonnas we sane people have always known them to be.

    Abbott & pathetic entourage of kowtowing twerps will be a laughing stock in the bars & kitchens of Australia now. This is the very thing to get Australian hackles up. Our new us & them society.

    Now all we need is for a pompous little prick like Professor David Flint to come trotting out in his bloody Ermin demanding to addressed by ‘my full title’. He probably want to be knighted for his services to the ‘Queen’. But I’m not sure The Parrot loves him anymore.

    We should turn this into the high farce it is. We should all take to wearing cardboard crowns & carrying PVC swagger sticks!

  23. Why did Dame Quentin agree to become one? What about her speech saying Australia should be a republic? Oh, well, I suppose a title is a nice accessory for special occasions, but it does put her son-in-law & the Labor party in an awkward position.

  24. Well, hasn’t that given you all something to seethe about!

  25. Deposition to the realm,

    cheers !

    Lord Seamus of Shagsborough :cool:

  26. Typical - Abbott fighting battles of yore. Amending s18c which has been in place for decades, taking us back to the early 80′s when Hawke got rid of imperial honours and only Joh retained them. The Australian population doesn’t have a better demonstration of why the LNP are so yesterday.

  27. Sir Clive Palmer, aka Sir Cumfrence.

  28. When’s Empire day?

    • Used to be cracker-night when I was small … an excuse to blow off digits and singe hair.

      • My Irish Dad used to tell us kids that Guy Fawkes was the only man to enter Parliament with good intentions.

        • Don’t you just love ‘em? Dads and the Irish! To be sure, to be sure.

          Cracker night was established as Empire Day on the anniversary of Queen Victoria’s death. Who knows, we might resurrect the celebration on the anniversary of the defeat of Abbott’ Government.

          I’ll sign the petition!

      • My brother nearly did. Was it celebrated some day in June? 24th? I can’t remember

  29. Bob,
    Your Short List predictions are so prescient.

    What we are dealing with here with this government is an extreme case of political narcissism. Narcissism is ultimately built on self-delusion, a form of mental illness.

    Day by day under this administration, the Australian community is becoming sicker and sicker in spirit. Steadily, we are also losing international friends. The Brandis ‘reforms’ .on racial discrimination will now push this national malaise along further.

    Meanwhile, Abbott as Prime Minister, at his most measured and ‘reasonableness ‘, oversees all the socially destructive, ecologically destructive and just plain brutal policy actions, his government is so intent on achieving.

  30. Can some god come and save us please I have a 19year old watching question time she is so fascinated by the bias of the speaker she loves tony Burke thinks he is fabulous just putting a different perspective on this from the young minds of the country the r engaged !! And bob can you fix my spelling had a few wines and can’t be bothered !!!

  31. If we added Sir Rupert Murdoch that would be the list ready for immediate entry into the circles of hell. A pack of lying right wing filth.

  32. I don’t think they are forced upon people, which should make it great sport observing all the anti monarchy, republicans etc who do accept such a title. I’d be surprised if our current gg accepted one? All the theatrical luvvies will be falling over each other for such a title.

  33. Sir Clive James
    Sir Barry Humphries
    Sir Les Murray
    why not?
    there is a Sir Tom Stoppard…
    why the inferiority complex?

    • So…all recipients of the Order of Australia are knights and dames automatically, is that it?

      Why not?

      How can Alan Jones have a knighthood, and Fred Hollows and Victor Chang not have one?

  34. I say I say I say

    Bring back Empire Day. Loved my twopenny bungers . . .

    We should have the right to blow things up . . .

    Gotta love the fifties.

    Little Johnny tried, but Abbott the tabbott may succeed in taking us back there.

    Qantas a small airline, no industries to speak of, sheep run and quarry to the world, White Australia, knighthoods . . .



    It’s possible by helping to buy a depleted forest area in the north of Scotland,to buy a tiny patch of land which has a rel title attached to the ancient Scottish law re Titles
    My son bought me one as a birthday present so I can now use the title of “Lord of Glencoe..and it’s genuine too
    I have docuements to show..AND IT MAKES A JOKE OF THE WHOLE IDEA OF TITLES..BUT IT’S VALID..and some are impressed,and I have a credit card with my title and it works like a charm when in the USA


    PS the title doesn’t attach to my wife…she is still a commoner


    I think it adds a bit of class to Bob’s column to have a real Peer as a contributor…though I still vote Green and see myself as “The People’s Peer”
    God Bless Your All

  38. Well now we really have a reason to protest vigorously for the Republic thanks to Tony Abbott’s amazing Tuesday afternoon surprise.

  39. They’re changing the guards at Buckingham Palace,

    Clip, clap, clop,

    Tony the fool went down on Alice,

    Clip, clap, clop,

    His little red helmet got grazed by the gravel,

    Clip, clap, clop.

  40. Courtier: Mam, a man claiming to be one of you subjects is clamoring at the main gate.

    Queenie: One of my subjects? What does he look like, who is he really.

    Courtier: He’s wearing a little red helmet Mam, with the sides cut out for his ears. And he’s only wearing jocks for clothes mam,

    Queenie: I have no such subject, tell him to go away.

    Courtier: He’s claiming to be from the antipodes Mam, he’s been at the gate for three weeks and he won’t budge.

    Queenie: Well have the guards arrest him then , take him to the tower, we can’t have that sort of spectacle going on.

    Courtier: We’ve already tried that Mam, he’s decked four guards and their horses.

    Queenie: Well what does the miscreant want then?

    Courtier: He wants a busby Mam. A busby and a knighthood.

    Queenie: If that’s all he wants then give in to him, anything to get rid of him. This is most unseemly.

  41. Where is his mandate for this rubish

    • Who knows. We may find it was in small print on, something like, page 427 of the Liberal Policy White Paper, which may have been available to the public.

      I only read the short book ‘Real Solutions’ and cannot recall seeing it in there.

  42. Is it such a bad idea? The idea of a special set of honours sitting atop the present order?

    The real failing with Sir Tony’s arrangement is that it is too much of an echo of Britain’s old imperial system. It is not in tune with Australia in the 21st century.

    Why not create out own “Order of the Bunyip” with our own unique Australian titles?

    Instead of “Sir”, why not “Bonza”? Sir Peter Cosgrove would become Bonza Peter Cosgrove. What better word to identify someone personifying qualities we hold high and dear. (“Dinky-di” just won’t do.)

    I favour gender equity, but if something is needed to replace “Dame”, perhaps “Bonza Sheila” would meet the need to distinguish the special Sheilas from the other Bonzas.

    Australians have a rich lexicon of words and phrases created through their own historical experience, as “Sir” and “Dame” were created through that of Britain’s historical experience.

    Why not Bonza Peter and Bonza Sheila Quentin?

    Or, perhaps - just perhaps - Australian really still are transplanted POMS and not really comfortable in your own cultural skins. Still playing dress up in mother’s old clothes basket??

    • What about “Bewdy”?

        • “Bewdy” and “Rippah” are both bonzer candidates for titles.

          I have a personal preference for “Bonza” largely because of the Klondike and the discovery creek, Bonanza, the name of which saw the popular re-entry of that word into everyday Australian usage and its possible evolution into Bonzer, Bonza, etc early in the 20th century (after Federation). You can explore this statistically in Australian newspapers via Trove. Yes, just a theory - but one in good company with other theories on Bob’s blog.

          • KR, seeing that we are now going to be a country of Knights and Dames, we have to start speaking and writing English proper like, you know, like them English blue bloods.
            A bit of coaching from an English Lord with a stiff upper lip, dressed in tweed jacket might just do the trick…We might even take up fox hunting…

  43. Sir Nigger Brown..

  44. In come the pounds, in come the pence . . .

  45. Sir What??????
    Are these people from the Royal order of the Clowns Politicians etc.

  46. Australians All …

    Welcome back to Mingland.

  47. This is a very poor use of Knighthoods Therefore as an Austerity item this should be abandoned and replaced With a medal giving for those returned Solders from The Korean war . The ones that The crown has forgotten.
    To be presented By the Queen as it happened under the British Commonwealth

    Bob please research this and do an item on it. These soldiers are getting on in age and should be recognised for freeing South Korea.

  48. Baroness Bronwyn Bishop, anyone?

    If you want to call her BBB, she’ll be none the wiser that it stands for . . . .

  49. if you have a really focused look at Abbot during question time today he was close to losing it when laughed at over his reintroduction of the pro British award honors system

  50. Some one needs to press the Right buttons on Abbott so he does his block.

  51. Does his block, or goes into meltdown. Chrissy Pyne is waiting with a cattle prod to goose the tabbott, in case he seizes up completely.


  52. guessing God Save the Queen as our national anthem can’t be too far away…

  53. Well it God wont Save the Mad Abbott.

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