An Apology

A week-old voicemail and text-message from Tony Abbott informs me he has never worn a wedding ring and I ‘shouldn’t read anything into it, mate.’

I was clearly gulled and I am sorry; doubly so for having taken so long to play back the message.

A Labor Party dirty trick? Could be.


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  1. A voicemail and a text message, at what must have been the exact moment a two paragraph article with virtually no content was published in an out of the way, harmless blog.

    Man, that’s suss.

    • No, Tony and I have a kind of distant intimacy, and he keeps up with what I write.

      I’m just sorry I was fooled.

      A thousand curses.

      • There were also three phone calls from Bob Carr on Thursday and Friday.

        I have since got a new phone, which does not hide messages like the old, neolithic one.

        • The wedding ring meant nothing. I thought you were holding back and that correlated with the testimony of others, with the overriding insinuation lingering in the air that the entire press gallery was in on it making it all the more compelling.

          I could make further analyses of certain cultural tropes and their resultant tendencies vis a vis sex and the right wing, but the thought Abbott might be reading makes it awkward to relax.

          • Reader, you read too much into that missing wedding ring, you rejoyced too soon, calm down :)

            • It was never about the wedding ring thing, I explained all this at the time. Another contributer told the full story but was removed.
              The fact that the wedding ring thing was so hapless and empty is what so blatantly suggests that Bob was merely hinting at something in order to tease it out or else test to see if it is commonly known.

        • Bob Carr was probably just calling to say “‘sup, bro?”

  2. I wouldn’t buy it as a ring tone, either.

  3. It’s nice that Tony Abbott took the trouble to inform you Bob. I always knew he was an honorable man. There are many that seek to do him harm. I am glad that you recognize his qualities.

  4. “For Brutus is an honourable man;
    So are they all, all honourable men, —
    Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
    He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
    But Brutus says he was ambitious;
    And Brutus is an honourable man.”

    So the wedding ring was a red herring? Surprise!

    I said nothing about it then, it didn’t deserve a second thought.

    I now think Abbott should remain opposition leader in perpetuity; that probably means that I think he is irrelevant now, and the Libs will replace him soon enough.

    Losing one election is usually fatal; the prospect of Labor being re-elected should do for him, as soon as the polls reach parity or beyond, about August at the latest.

  5. The ring thing has come up before.
    Always fun.

  6. I’ve contacted Bob to say this in private, and he knows who I am… so I might as well say it in public.

    I was the person who alerted Bob to the lack of a wedding ring; I wasn’t trying to gull Comrade Ellis or anyone else. I simply noticed the lack of a wedding ring on a married man’s finger, having never noticed it before, and made mention of it.

    It appears now that it’s always been absent and my wonderings on the matter were damnably misguided. I’m sorry about that.

    I’m sure some people will read nefarious motives into this, but they needn’t. I simply thought 2 and 2 made 5, you see, and passed it on to a friend and thus misled him also. As he might say, a thousand curses.

    The fault be not good Ellis’, my friends, but mine.

    • Forget the wedding ring, it was never about the wedding ring.

      But you know that, don’t you.

      It’s the grassy knoll all over again only this time, worse.

      • I really don’t know what you’re on about. Here’s the original text message, reproduced in full,

        “Abbott not wearing his wedding ring any more; noticed it during QT”

        Now if he’s never worn it then that’s unremarkable, innit? Fair enough. But I didn’t know that and so I made a mistake, the way you do, and told a friend something I thought interesting, the way you do.

        And so I owed Bob an apology. You, however, can pack up your grassy knoll into your old kit back and fuck right off.

        • I will say this only once, yet again. You’re role in this is insubstantial. Bob must have been sitting on more information because an allusion was made that whatever he was banging on about, which wasn’t made clear, the entire press gallery knew about. And lo and behold, a contributor also knew of it. Bob must have thought that the wedding ring absence was indicative that it was about to come out in the public press which is why there were mutterings of whether it would come out or not, even if the press all knew, seeing as this is the Murdoch age and everything. He must have since realised that, no, it’s not going to come out, this being the Murdoch age, and I don’t blame him for making alternate arrangements. The safety of his Volvo is on the line, not to mention a plethora of social complications.

          Labor should kick you off the team, you’ve not got the sufficient intellect to be their mole. Go join the Liberals, I’m sure with them you’ll be a stand out performer.

          • Sorry, “your” role in this. It’s easily done, I’m a very fast typer.

          • Lone gunman wins again.

            • W.W.P.D?

              • I’ll tell you what Poirot would do. He would ask -

                1. Why the allusion to the fact that the entire press gallery knew. Knew what?

                2. Why the reference as to whether the press would reveal it or not. Reveal what?

                3. Who is True Believer, what does he or she know, and exactly how awesome is he or she?

                4. Why does everyone tiptoe around the existence of True Believer while shouting wildly “look over there, over there” and then when you ask what’s over there, they say “nothing” or bang on about wedding rings?

                4. To what extent could True Believer show Labor mole how it ought to be done?

                • Isn’t it strange that LHO left his wedding ring behind before the fateful day, coincidence you say, hah,”Merde” I say or rather Poirot says. I agree, the ring was neither here nor there, Ellis didn’t let honour or intimacy get in the way of trying to scoop what apparently everyone else knew, except me by the look of things.
                  The ring was just the green flag, but ended up being a false flag for a false start. True Believer = Tony Abbott, it all makes sense. Bob Ellis is just the patsy.

                  • I’ll read your comment in a minute, I’ve had a thought that I need to convey. A conclusive thought.

                    Why would Bob be referring to Labor party dirty tricks if it were just some lone, intellectually challenged schmuck making a mild observation?

                    • Labor Mole being the shmuck, not Tone pretending to be True, which is a patently ridiculous assertion.

                      AND YOU KNOW IT.

          • Who should be kicked off the Labor team? Me, or someone else?

  7. I don’t believe a word. One has to cover up for a mate on international women’s day, there’s a slave racket to protect so large, so enormous, that it puts the traditional one in the shade in terms of numbers. They call it “maturity”. They call it honour.

    I wonder if True Believer has a blog.

  8. To Labor Mole and Mr Ellis

    There have been rumours about Mr Abbott for a while and your comment about a wedding ring was designed to play on this. In the subsequent blogs, these rumours were alluded to. Ellis accused the Press Gallery of a cover up - an accusation he seems to have removed from his website, Stalin-style (or am I wrong?)

    And regardless, it was gossip and innuendo. What possible public interest was there in reporting it?

    There a few senior people in the Labor ranks who, if they are wearing wedding rings, should be charged with fraud. Will you report that too Mr Mole??

    I first met Mr Abbott 12 years ago and noticed he didn’t wear a wedding ring. Labor Mole, you are sure as shit no Sherlock. Keep digging though, you’ll find your own backyard provides plenty of dirt.

  9. True Believer

    Hello folks. First of all, I think I should again apologize to you Bob, for making too much out of an anomaly that Abbott himself has now explained to you. That said, the allegation that I placed under the previous entry last week remains true, and is regarded as true by every prominent figure in Canberra.

    Secondly, I can reassure you that I am not “some lone, intellectually challenged schmuck”, nor am I secretly Tony Abbott or a Tory mole (to use the lexicon of Dennis Skinner), nor do I have my own blog. I am, however, a member of the Labor Party, but do not wish to become yet another of its mud-slinging, rumour-spreading apparatchiks that have lead to its near demise. Our Party is at an existential crossroads now, politically, ideologically, structurally, and we cannot afford to pick the dead end.

    I shall attempt to make my comments more positive on this blog from now on in the spirit of my username, and Bob, if ever I become prominent enough in the Party as to meet you, you will learn my true identity :smile: .

  10. Reader1, I now doubt that it really matters. The polls will self-correct soon enough, and keeping Abbott as opposition leader won’t be an issue.

    Long may he stay there!

  11. So it’s true but it’s never going to come out because Abbott is a figurehead for the whole edifice and you all have a deep seated need for respectability to be respectable so the status quo can live on.

    And the hollow moralism, can’t get enough of that. Abbott IS trustworthy. Labor HAS lost its way. The gender power dynamic IS rooted in reality.

    It’s true but just let’s all forget about it. No wucking furries.

    Labor Mole was the shmuck, I made that abundantly clear. That said, remove the carrot or join the Liberals.

    • Crap, I had to refresh because Doug was nattering away and then forgot to do it as a reply to the enormous disappointment that is True Believer.

      Doug - you may be right but I am thoroughly immersed in my own tangent.

      • In fact, I detect a conspiracy within a conspiracy. I think a few faceless Laborites that be must have put their heads together and decided to keep him on. Whip this old chestnut out in case of an emergency.

  12. If you were Cheryl Kernot, or Gareth Evans or Dellabosca, or the Tassie chauffeur you’d wonder about the fairness of it all. Perhaps it is powder best kept dry for the heat of a ensuing Labor loss of Government during the next campaign.

    Knowing the ALP’s luck, should it be revealed, Tony Abbott will probably pick up the Catholic Backslider demographic, a huge but untapped source of mandate, that will give him a majority in both houses.

    True Believer is not TA, it was my Jim Garrison ploy, foiled again.

    • With Cheryl and Gareth, it wasn’t relevant to know but dammit, it was interesting. Ditto for Della Bosca only a lot less interesting. It’s the State guy who got busted in the gay brothel that ought never to have come out and is nobody’s business and was really harsh.

      Abbott, like a Serb in the 1990′s, has a great big, whopping target emblazoned across his chest. You live by the sword, expect one day that someone will come along and shove that sword right up your rectum.

  13. Reader1 : I’M nattering away? Moi? I’m grossly offended. BTW ‘sup’ is a contraction and not onomatopoeia, however cool that might have been . . .

    Bob Ellis thinks I hate Abbott, but what I hate is that he was a mere seat or two away from gaining the Lodge, and his chance to rewrite the record books on ‘Worst Prime Ministers in World History’.

    I now think his chance has gone for good.

    Give me an atheist Hallelujah!!

  14. ” Keep digging though, you’ll find your own backyard provides plenty of dirt.”
    You have no idea of the understatement.

  15. Oh yes I do!

    • If you openly declare that gay people should be lynched, and it turns out you yourself are gay - that is relevant. If you are quietly gay on the side but have made no statement on the issue, it is not. People may not have chosen a certain life path. Abbott did choose a certain life path then went about using it for his personal advantage - glorifying himself and putting others down on the basis of the Traditional Conservative Hetero Dream.

      A dream that is a load of bollocks. We as a society need to grow up and get our head around this. But I think the reason it is so important to people is that the man is the head of the family and when that goes, so does the whole kit and caboodle.

      • Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?

        Run! Run and hide, hysterical harridan.

        • I’m not afraid of progress. I’m all for it.

          You might want to polish up your coping equipment.

          • He’s our resident Catallaxy Dog.

            You may know him as Abu Chowdah or Pole Smoking Catamite, or Shy Cock.

            But I like his original name, “Softy”.

          • He’s our resident Catallaxy Dog.

            You may know him as Abu Chowdah or Pole Smoking Catamite, or Shy Cock.

            But I like his original name, “Softy”.

            • I suspect you are all of those people you mention. Clever smoke screen you IPA arsehole.

              • Oh Abu my dear old Judas!
                Selling out Mk50, CL, JC, Lizzie et al??

                Tell The SincMeister there is no greater ally than one who betrays his own. :lol:

  16. Then behold your future: Tony Abbott!


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