How To Rort The PPL

Give your wife a job, as your personal private secretary, on 100,000 a year. Pay her, in the next three months, 27,000 of it. Arrange that she gives the money back to you, or spends it, as she usually does, on household goods.

Knock her up.

Pay her for three more months. Get the money back from her, as usual.

Give her leave from the job so she can have the baby.

Collect 50,000 tax free dollars when she has the baby.

After six months, re-employ her. Make sure she gives the money back to you.

In two years, do all this again.

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33 Comments.

  1. Pity, I have not got a wife.

  2. I have had my suspicions for some time about you, Bob. You are a closet Liberal. Well, almost.

    A proper Liberal would set up a company employing his wife in some capacity so as to keep the fraud one step removed from the perpetrators. A company would also facilitate extending the fraud to friends and relatives. Daughters and daughters-in-law? Or, you could even extend the service to people for a commission. “Lend” them the necessary salary to be paid back with interest once the mother allowance comes in.

    Bob, you old Liberal in a sheepskin, I think you are onto the next big thing.

  3. I will await (cough) Sarrah’s gleeful take on this. Meanwhile back to digging in the Goldfields.

  4. Oh gawd, just think how much that’ll add to lifestyle induced need for IVF!

  5. Lets see where Peta positions Tony’s three daughters
    and how long after -that positioning –the the maternal timeclock clicks in

    • Ah yes, the Peta position… no shame.

      • Vatsayana called it Congress of the Thief of Staff

        …. the man enters the woman as though riding a bicycle while the woman stretches her arms as though handle bars and whispers instructions about how to bring ruin to the people ….

      • Haiku meets Raga
        Vatsayana meets E.L.James
        The Thief of Staff meets the Chief of Stiff
        Red helmet meets Dutch Cap

        all that hair!!!

        • May Day, May Day.

          Roy Orbison meets Padmassabhava and Yeshe Tsogal.

          Only the yoni
          Know this feeling ain’t right
          that little red helmet on the lingam is too tight
          Maybe tomorrow, a new romance
          maybe the millionaire milliner will come to the dance and qualify for some well paid parental leave so there will be plenty more maithuna for hotei

  6. This PPL is wide open for rorting, and will blow out to double its budget.

    In time it will become known as the Pink Bits Debacle

  7. Your friendly neighbourhood accountant could arrange this with his eyes closed.

  8. The PPL is a rort from beginning to end. If it goes through it will be the end of this Tory Government in two and half years, and the Greens, for supporting it.

  9. Our fearless leader the Prime Tabbott has already backed away from his baby; something I understand he has form for doing.

    I told you so.

    • I’m missing somwething here, DQ. and have been for a while, hoping that the penny would drop. But it hasn’t.
      Can you explain to me why “tabbot” is worth replacing “äbbott”?
      Obviously you prefer its usage to rabbit, sabot, et al. Why is this? Is there some meaning of “tabbbot”
      that I am missing?
      Please tell me, because otherwise it sounds really confusingly meaningless.

      • “tabbott” is a new word of my own coining. Some here like it as well.

        The issue was first raised by Jennifer Wilson on Noplaceforsheep in her article “Why I can’t call Abbott a cunt”

        The issue seems to be that girls rather like their cunts and as a man I’m very fond of them too.

        So, a new word was required : a word which will be the most obscene and indecent word in the English language. Much more evil than cunt; as I may have mentioned, cunts are useful.

        A tabbott has all of a cunt’s bad attributes and at the same time is totally without a use.

        Rather like the PM.

        :mrgreen:

  10. Lest we forget:

    THERE WILL BE NO NEW TAXES UNDER A GOVERNMENT I LEAD

  11. punctuation class, Riverview College

    NO NEW TAXES?
    NO! NEW TAXES!

  12. What a lurk! good one.
    Get with the Abbott rorters club, free for all. “Become a rorter just like me” says Abbott. Babies galore!
    Wide open romp.

    • I’ll bet Miss Helena on ABC’s Play School years ago never imagined the kids of her day would end up getting paid $75,000 for practicing what she preached everyday; “Open wide, come inside. It’s Play School”

  13. This is the dumbest idea I have seen. Quite apart from the fact that you would need to provide pay slips, and a payment summary at the end of the financial year, you would also have to pay super into a fund for your wife (on top of the salary), and she would be paying tax on the income, so she can’t just “give it back to you”. If you have this sort of cash to throw around, you can come up with better money making ventures.

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