We may expect one of Murdoch’s ‘funnily enough’ Newspolls tomorrow. Funnily enough, despite Carr’s UN coup, and despite Gillard’s world famed ‘misogynist’ haymaker, despite the swing to Labor in the ACT and the Liberals’ leadership mud-wrestle in South Australia, and the growing detestation of Newman in Queensland in this, the week when the Literary Awards occurred in spite of his abolition of them, despite the vanishing Australia-wide of the Carbon Tax bogeyman and spifflication of the Nauru Solution (more boat people come in a week now than in the whole Howard era), funnily enough, funnily enough, paradoxically, amazingly, the Liberals have gained ground and Abbott is once again the preferred Prime Minister, or nearly, and the Coalition is on 57.
It will be a lie, of course, or a tweaking. All you need to know about Murdoch’s minions’ ‘methodology’ (I’m Bill O’Reilly and this is the no-spin zone) is that in the Fox Newspoll Romney always does better than in any other poll, on average, and Obama worse. Always.
This can only mean that Fox Newspoll is corrupt; it is hard, comrade, to read the evidence in any other way.
Does this mean O’Shannessy’s Newspoll, out tomorrow and ringing, as always, no mobile phones and doorknocking nobody anywhere, will show Gillard losing, not gaining votes after the ‘sexism’ donnybrook that so excited the gaping planet? Would O’Shannessy dare?
Of course he would. He doesn’t like it, but he has to. He has, like Don Draper, a customer to serve. Newspoll has I think a CEO for no other reason. Why does a number counting agency need a CEO? To tweak the figures? Massage them? Bodgy up the samples? Heaven forbid.
Of course he would.
Whether he will is another question.
He may want Gillard to survive, and be therefore easier to beat than Rudd or Carr or Shorten. Or he may want Rudd, as PM, floundering, as always, to answer what happened at Scores, and why he went there, a tactic that worked so well against Mike Rann.
The actual figures, 50-50, we won’t see till Nielsen, the honest poll, brings them out next Monday.
Prove that I lie.
PS. Hmm. Nielsen has come out a week early, with such figures, 52-48, as may scare O’Shannessy into honesty this week, and render all of the above unlikely. I will let it stand, however. We need always to be reminded of Murdoch’s past wickedness lest we be oversurprised by its return. And so it goes.