For those with too short an attention span, here is the solution to the boat people problem, in 170 words.
We cede one of our eight hundred islands to the north of Australia to East Timor.
Pay the East Timorese to build a detention centre and administrate it.
Pay some UN people to process the boat people there.
Fly all the people who have reached Indonesia and Malaysia to that island. Process them quickly. Admit all Tamils and Hazaras automatically, since their fear of persecution is justified.
If there are fifty thousand of them, take fifty thousand less Japanese waiters this year. This will end the queue. If there are a hundred thousand of them, take a hundred thousand less Japanese waiters. They are, by definition, less worthy of our urgent help. Let them wait a year. This will keep the annual migrant intake exactly what it is.
And it will end the queue, and the notion of ‘queue jumpers’. And save many, many lives.
And put the ‘people smugglers’ out of business.
Lift the number of refugees we take thereafter to twenty thousand a year. Process them in order, quickly.
All clear now?