(I lately offered a bottle of Glenfyddich to anyone who, in McGonagall-Milligan style, could better the doggerel of Gina Rinehart in a poem in praise of her. Some of the entries were excluded for very bad rhyming or needless obscenity, but most survived.
Entries will be considered and published till July 1, and the winner announced, and invited to lunch with me at Macchiavelli’s, or another convenient restaurant in a lesser city, on July 2.)
hudsongodfrey June 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Gina Rhinestone fat and round
she digs our minerals out o the ground
she brings the media to their knees
and quickly ships it overseas.
William Soil June 24, 2012 at 1:18 am
While the globe is welping under the weight of debt, poverty and strife
Gina with her billions now is pleading to enjoy a better life
Her hope lies with resources buried deep within the earth
With the conniving and the capital which give each project worth
Is her future threatened with massive debts run up by political hacks?
Who misrepresent the people by covering Gina’s back?
What about your kids Gina? What about the law?
“Nonsense jealous swine, you’re in my way of more”
Some dull instruments I know of have been conned
To think a state can be managed by waving a magic wand
Through such unfortunate ignorance, too much abuse is hurled
Against democracy, culture and workers rights, who strive to build the world
Read a book, embrace philantropy and pay your way you nasty eh hem, (what was it your old man said?)
Stop stuffing your face with tim tams that you got from selling ore
The world’s poor need some food too: do not leave them to their fate
While you lavish yourself with luxury, usurp government, and spread hate.
Doug Quixote June 23, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Rolling in money like Scrooge McDuck,
I challenge you all to try your luck
Fairfax I’ll screw over fine
SMH, The Age they’ll all be mine
And as for the plebs, I don’t give a fuck!
Frank June 23, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Big Gina Reinhart, our mining heiress,
launched a cruise missile – her own Polaris!
Up it went right over Eastern Australia,
Bang! it struck! Labor paraphernalia!
How the Left despise her wealth,
Hope to remove her from Fairfax by stealth.
But Gina Reinhart steers Fairfax receipts,
Up 18 percent she needs to win three seats!
“Give me a place on the board!” she routs,
Whilst Conroy and Gillard eat their brussels sprouts,
Scheming Age journalists plan a mighty revolt.
Whilst Gina installs as editor her favourite, Andrew Bolt!
So dear friends how will this story end?
It’s beyond my wit to suggest or comprehend.
Canguro June 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm
(Sorry, this is a truly execrable effort.)
Rinehart the lionheart,
I saw you once and then again,
On the telly, Channel 10
First time you was young and lissome,
Later, older, yer lost yer glisten
Richer than Midas
With hips as wide as
Gina I reckon you’re
Babe, my lust for ya’s futile,
I heard ya only thrust for rutile,
and zinc, and iron, it makes ya rich,
Yeh, makes ya rich, ya metallic bitch
Sandgroper Gina, ya ain’t no kiwi
Nor Chinese, no squat to wee-wee
Yer a bonzer Aussie sheila, fair dinkum
Keep up the fight gal, and you’ll lick ‘em
Yo Roger, Michael, Greg & Sandra,
Yo Sam, Linda, Rob & Peter,
Better get ready, you’re gonna greet her
For she’s mounting to board the board,
So make way, stand aside, or be gored
hudsongodfrey June 23, 2012 at 8:30 pm
Beautiful hole in dessert ground
that’s where Gina’s digging down.
Resource bounty shipped away
lines her pockets day by day.
Won’t share the minerals rent resource pie
And global warming she’ll deny.
She’ll buy Monkton
She’ll buy Abbott
She’ll buy Fairfax,
out of habit.
Gillard has no defensive armour,
when fat Gina brings fat Palmer.
Bullshit walks and money talks
Abbott panders, Gillard squawks
Nobody stands in Gina’s way,
even family have to pay.
Funds in trust to be released,
send a lawyer, send a priest.
When she sits a god’s left hand
Half his stipend she’ll demand
For the clay from Adam’s rib
Lang laid claim to in the crib
Mankind owes her evermore
We sold our soul to the company store.
spleenblatt June 23, 2012 at 8:48 pm
Those billions pleading for our ore to save them from their doom
Will add some more momentum to this lucrative boom
Never mind that many of the world’s poor live in countries replete with high value resources.
That’s the kind of lefty thing you say after three years in taxpayer funded university arts courses.
gerard oosterman June 23, 2012 at 9:54 pm
We heave and groan
when hearing Gina’s moan
the pillows are witness
to loves so listless
we make our choice
Iron ore from red to rust
it’s life’s fate return to dust
money bites like lawless dogs
instead of the croak of frogs
we make our choice, and after…
a riot of silence